Gray Jutsu
by asthmatichufflepuff
Summary: Inspired by Writingbunny-san's 'Summoning the Shinigami." A series of one-shots in which DGM characters are summoned into the Naruto world to help ninja fight! Lots of OOCness, beware! I own nothing.
1. Road Kamelot: Tiny

**A/N: Naruto and DGM do not belong to Linderp-sama. This applies to every chapter. That is all. thank you.**

The Kyuubi. A monstrous thing.

It was Konoha's worst night _ever_ \- and that was saying a lot - as the Kyuubi no Kitsune closed in on the ninja, destroying everything in its path. Its nine tails were swaying about wildly as the creature swatted down a couple more buildings.

Namikaze Minato, the famed and much looked-up to Yondaime Hokage, was feeling a bit desperate. Everyone was counting on him to finish the beast off; after all, he was said to be a genius, one of the greatest ninja in history.

But he, and all the other ninja, had done all they could. But it wasn't enough. The Kyuubi was power absolute, while the humans were like ants compared to the great beast's chakra count.

Though, Minato had one last ace up his sleeve.

And what of it? It was called, the "Haiiro No Shokan" jutsu.

The Yondaime had developed it himself, but had never actually used it. So he didn't actually know whether it would summon a "Gray One". But it should. In theory.

Standing on Gamabunta the toad's head, Namikaze Minato concentrated on performing the hand seals properly.

_Kuro, Shiro, Akuma, Tenshi, Gure._

"Watashi wa gure o shokan!"

The Hokage felt a slight disturbance in the air, a ripple. What happened next astounded him.

Before Minato was a glowing being seemingly made out of fragments of light. On the largest shard, there was the kanji for one - ichi. It resembled a stack of crystal petals and took his breath away.

What surprised him the most, however, was when a _little _dark-skinned girl popping through the portal and almost falling onto him.

"Oh," she sang, "Were _you _the one who summoned me? I'm Road, by the way! Who are you?"

"H-Hokage Na-m-mi-Namikaze Minato" was what the befuddled man stammered out.

"Okay! So, here's the deal: I do what you summoned here to do, and you'll give me… ten bags of the best candies you've got! I'm guessing that you want me to get rid of the big orange rabbit thing over there? It's pretty cute."

"Y-yes." The poor Hokage croaked.

"Alrighty then. The faster I get this over with, the faster I can get back to playing dressup with my dear Allen-kun!"

Minato stared in confusion as the seemingly harmless young girl then proceeded to leap (maybe it was some form of bloodline ability?) from where she was on Gamabunta's head directly to the Kyuubi's body. For some reason he didn't know, he felt quite sorry for the previously mentioned Allen.

Then the tiny "Road" began beating up the _monster that had taken out hundreds of people with ease _in every single way that was possible with no weapons. For some reason, the Kyuubi couldn't heal the wounds from her blows.

All that you could see was a her limbs in a blur as she punched, kicked, and slapped the Kyuubi on the snout repeatedly.

In just a few minutes it was reduced to a mere quivering heap, shaking with its head laid down on its front legs.

Road then flew to the creature's chest and stabbed it in the heart with a huge striped candle she had just materialized out of nowhere. Blood splattered the area around them.

_Poof!_ Bye bye, Kyuubi. Its dead corpse vanished.

* * *

Later on, after Road had gone back to wherever she had come from (took the shiny portal with her, too) Minato surveyed the damage. About one-third of Konohagakure village had been irreparably broken to bits. Yet, he couldn't help but think that it could have been worse, if not for his summoning of the Gray One, Road.

The giant toad was dispelled, the Hokage landed on the ground gracefully and was surrounded by villagers.

"Lord Fourth!" exclaimed Might Guy. "You defeated the super-youthful Kyuubi with… with… youth!"

"Yes," Kakashi put in mildly, "Your victory over the Nine-Tails will be legendary."

Namikaze Minato realized that they hadn't actually seen him summon "Road." So he decided to let them think that he had defeated the Kyuubi.

It wouldn't hurt his reputation, after all.

* * *

"Allen-kun! Now try this one on!"

"We've gone over this a billion times, Road, I don't want to wear the Gothic Lolita dresses that you do."

"_Oh,_ _Al~len."_

"Don't pull out your candles on me, dammit!"

"Then put this on. Please? Or I'll get Wisely to tell Tyki all of your cheating tips. You know that he can enter minds."

"..."


	2. Yuu Kanda: Transvestite

**A/N: I don't get much ideas because no one is reviewing but two nice otaku… Please tell me who to do next in comments? T-T**

Yamato watched in panic as the berserk Naruto rampaged. Orochimaru was still indestructible, respawning in that disgusting way.

Who gets reborn by crawling out of their own mouth, dripping with saliva, anyway?

_Only one way to surely stop the kid, _he thought, forming the hand seals as he did so. Sweat was beading on his brow.

_Kuro, Shiro, Akuma, Tenshi, Gure._

"Watashi wa gure o shokan!"

And out of nowhere landed a…

_Is that a woman, or a very girly man, or a crossdresser, or a bi…_

The wood jutsu user halted in his pondering as said woman-man stood up. _It_ whipped _it's _head and glared at Yamato.

"Fish-eyes, were you the one who got me here!? Just when I was in the middle of a spar with Moyashi, too!" The man-woman demanded in a rather masculine voice. Trying to ignore the enraged screeches of Tailed Naruto swatting at Orochimaru, Yamato decided that it was a man. But, just to make sure:

"Ah - yes. I summoned you here, and humbly beg you for help in stopping my, uh, subordinate" - he gestured towards Naruto - "and the asexual snake man fighting him. And… Are you a womanly man or a manly woman? No offense."

The long-haired samurai took the first few sentences in with barely concealed rage, his hand gripping the hilt of the sword by his side. But when Yamato popped the question, he exploded.

"Like HELL I WILL HELP YOU, BASTARD FISH-EYES! AND IF YOU EVER HAPPEN TO BE ASKED, TELL 'EM THAT I, YUU KANDA, AM A MAN, GODDAMNIT!"

The last thing Yamato saw was the man (well, at least now he knew for sure) unsheathing his sword and whapping him with the flat of it. On the head. Really, really hard.

Who says that Innocence can't hurt humans?

"Yamato-san!" Sakura squeaked, catching sight of him falling to the ground with foam bubbling out of his mouth.

Even the enraged Naruto turned around to stare at the unconscious ninja writhing in pain.

Kanda vanished.

* * *

*smile* "Oh, Kanda! Where were you? Did you run away from our fight?"

*twitch* "Shut UP, MOYASHI!"

*plick* "What did you just say, BaKanda?"

*jerk* "I'll cut off your Jiji hair and burn it with incense! En Garde!"

*convulse* "Oh, BaKanda, we both know that you only vanished because you were too _cowardly_ to fight like a _true _man."

_And so on._


	3. Marian Cross: Womanizer

**A/N: Disclaimer this time is that I am absolutely horrible at updating. And this chapter is short. I apologize in advance. +_=**

Naruto scowled as he tried to peer to the goddamn mist the dude called Zappy - Zabutt - Zabuza? Zabuza.

The mist that Zabuza had created.

And then he had a bright idea, just as he heard Kakashi-sensei and Zabuza clash in the fog.

When there was that time where he had sneaked and stolen the forbidden shadow doppelganger jutsu, he had also taken a peek at some of the other scrolls stuffed there. There had been the "Neko Transformation" jutsu, the "Unchi o Taberu" jutsu, and the "Haiiro No Shokan" jutsu.

And with Naruto being, well, Naruto, he decided, _If I use one of these summoning thing jutsus, Zabuza would get beaten up, and then I'll be a hero, and Sasuke will finally bow down and see that I am the greater ninja! Ha!_

(It took him four tries to get the hand seals right.)

Although, even thick-headed-at-the-time Naruto felt a bit suspicious as this guy just walked out of _nowhere_ and flicked a charred cigarette butt at him. And what was up with that bony half-mask marked with a cross? Was he religious? Although, for some reason he couldn't fathom, the guy's russet red hair seemed comforting.

"Oi. Brat."

Naruto didn't reply.

"Idiot. You're not beautiful. And you're dirty too. Only women who are dirty are allowed to come near me."

The the glasses-wearing redhead snatched the young chuunin and flung him away, in the direction of Kakashi and Zabuza's fight.

There was a muffled _thump _and the summoned man huffed in annoyance as he dusted himself off.

* * *

Meanwhile, both Zabuza and Kakashi were knocked unconscious by the force of the blonde's butt crashing into the Hidden Mist ninja and his rock hard head slamming onto Kakashi.

* * *

General Cross cursed under his breath.

Now he had no idea how to get back to the neat little brothel he had just been about to visit. A pity, too, there were so many beautiful and dirty women there.

But at least the ugly dirty presence had been neatly disposed of. And the dirty brat was like a younger, ruder version of idiot apprentice, except idiot apprentice actually seemed to be more intelligent than this one.

Cross suddenly remembered that Anita had informed him that his apprentice was currently bedridden and missing his Innocence arm. His usual bad mood deepened.

(Not that he actually cared for the sort-of-albino brat. Definitely not. Although Idiot Apprentice was quite tolerable at times.)

He also remembered that he didn't have a sure way of returning to _his_ damn brat.

_If General Cross was in an anime, he would have grown horns._

He dragged out Grave of Maria, instead - her singing always tended to calm him down.

It was just unfortunate that it seemed to have a negative effect on everyone else in a 100 meter radius.

_SSSHHHHHHRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK!_

Ah, what a nice melody. He lit another cigarette, and idly wondered where the blonde whiskered brat had landed.

Whatever.


	4. Lavi Jr: Sensitive

**A/N: So long since I last updated - sorry. -_-**

The Chuunin Exam Finals were stressful, obviously. Not only for the participants, but for the audience too. (Sasuke was firmly hoping - not that he'd ever admit it - that Naruto would lose to Neji. Then, even if he lost to Gaara, he could still tease Naruto about losing.)

Said blonde was panting, exhausted, in the exam arena.

"Fate is determined at birth," etc, etc, yada yada was what his opponent Neji was going on and on about.

Naruto scowled. He had already used his favorite jutsu, Shadow Clone Technique, many times and many ways only to be slapped aside by Neji's "Gentle Fist." Then he brightened and grinned. Why?

Because Kakashi-sensei had taught him a special jutsu, that's why! The Silver - no, Gray - Jutsu was to be his ace in the hole.

Now was the perfect time to use it.

* * *

Back in the stands, Kakashi looked up from his little novel.

He grinned underneath his mask, as he could see that his pupil was going to summon a Gray One with the jutsu that the Fourth Hokage himself had created.

It wasn't tested yet. Still a prototype.

_Not anymore, _he thought, and resumed reading _Ichi Ichi Paradise._

* * *

After rapidly performing the hand seals the best he could, before Naruto was a poof of smoke accompanied by some weird hissing noises.

Neji broke off from his spiel. "Oy, Idiot, what do you-"

"Voila~ who's summoned me to Konoha, now?" The Hyuga was cut short by an older teen with flaming red hair, an eyepatch, bandana, and uniform who stepped out from the smoke.

"Uh, who're you?" Naruto asked quite intelligently.

They could've sworn there were sparkles in the red-head's eyes. "Me? I am… " *dramatic pause* "LAVI BOOKMAN JU-NYUUUURR!"

* * *

Kakashi began observing the match.

* * *

"Oh." Again, intelligently from the fluent mouth of Naruto.

With that said, Lavi whipped out a tiny glowing hammer.

"Big hammer, little hammer, grow, grow GROW!"

The weapon extended to length of about seven feet, but the exorcist wielded it with ease.

"Hey, are you compensating for something?" Neji inquired sassily, a hand resting on his hip. He was irritated that nobody had actually been listening to his speech.

The carrot-top's shimmery smile froze in place, then cracked.

"_Flame Seal."_

Lavi leapt up high into the air and used all his might to bring his flaming Innocence crashing down on the Hyuga. With a thunderous growl, his hammermade-fire-dragon dissipated. Lavi kept his hammer at its current size, though.

"Is… Is…That all you've got, Summoned Rabbit?" Neji wheezed, trying in vain to recover his pride. And his honor, dignity, etc. as a supposed prodigy of the Hyuga Clan.

"Do it again!" cheered Naruto. He had no idea what his summoned Gray One really was, or what he was doing, but Lavi beating up his opponent, so he wasn't going to complain.

"With pleasure! _HEAVEN SEAL!"_

There was a gory squelching crackle-ish noise. Probably the pleasant onomatopoeia of Neji's bones collapsing.

Lavi had turned around, satisfied with his work, when Kakashi spoke up from the stands (amongst a whole lot of people with dropped jaws. Except Sasuke).

"If I recall correctly, Lavi-san, the jutsu summons strong fighters from an alternate dimension - it was written in the Fourth's notes. So, pray tell, how did you know that this is Konoha?"

There was a twinkle in the other's one visible eye as Lavi replied, "I'm in line to be a Bookman. And a Bookman knows all."

Then he vanished, and chaos erupted amidst the onlookers.

* * *

_On another note:_

_Neji Hyuga couldn't even sit up for a couple of months after the "incident."_


	5. Golem Army: What

**A/N: Yeah, technically a "Golem Army" isn't a character of DGM, but I am the AUTHOR and I say that I can. Other notice: my story Allen ga Kiru is up for adoption, so message me if you want to take it? Mn.**

_MRRRWOBL, MRRRRR-PP!_

Tenten stared at the blob slowly beginning to rise out of the ground, but she wasn't actually freaking out (not when she'd seen Guy-sensei and Rock Lee in spandex and survived). She blamed this on Gaara, who just had to go and get himself captured by the Akatsuki for who-knows-what reasons - she didn't care, but she and her team were assigned to this mission, and they were going to finish it.

It was when Blob turned into, like, her doppelganger that she started panicking a bit.

As Tenten threw a kunai and dodged one whistling towards her head, she wondered if her teammates were fighting _their_ evil twins, too. Damn booby traps. She unfurled the weapons scroll strapped to her back again, intent on firing some ninja stars at Other Tenten.

But then something yellow-ish with _wings _fluttered out. Then a black one. And a green one. She hastily unstrapped her scroll and tossed it to the ground. A rushing wave of - _Golems,_ she thought, remembering reading some bestiaries before - in shades varying from solid colors to opalescent.

Tenten gaped as the golden one flew right up to Other Tenten and viciously bit her earlobe. The other two original ones tag-teamed and ganged up on the girl; tugging at her black hair and tripping her feet.

"The _heck_!?"

The remaining few-hundred-or-so golems gathered up in one, huge, massive, rolling wave of colors, then pierced down at their target like a hawk diving in to catch its prey.

Except , instead of coming up after giving Other Tenten some nibbled here and there, the golems split up. About a quarter of them hovered around in case their opponent tried to break free, but the rest pummeled Other Tenten by ramming into her.

Whenever the doppelganger managed to aim and throw a kunai or the like, it would be blocked by one of the _things_ and clatter right off. What were those golems made of, anyway?

Surely, they should've been alive and with flesh, not machines?

Regular Tenten broke out of her reverie.

"Let me help!" She shouted, summoning a handful of throwing stars.

The mass of creatures parted slightly and left an opening straight to Other Tenten's struggling body.

Tenten aimed and threw the star as hard as she could.

_Shunk!_

The golems dispersed; Other Tenten, her limbs riddled with bites and teeth marks, the throwing star imbedded in her chest, sank to the ground and melted back into it.

"What the hell happened?" Tenten deadpanned, turning to the group of golems flitting here and there nonchalantly.

The golden one looked away from a particularly interesting beetle on the floor (wait, it didn't have eyes in the first place, though) and grinned rather creepily _and_ evilly, revealing teeth as sharp as a tiger's, if not sharper. Then it shook its tail around, and Tenten got the feeling that it was saying something to the likeness of, _Kiss my ass, human!_

"Go to hell." She replied automatically. _Dammit brain._

They - every single orb of every single color - vanished.

"I didn't mean it, you know…" Tenten trailed off uncertainly when she noticed that a new summoning seal had been imprinted onto her unfurled scroll (thrown on the ground in her haste to participate in fighting). It would have been the same as the ones for weapons, if not for the fact that a likeness of the snarky yellow golem was there, too.

Maybe she'd use it in a fight later?

…

Maybe.


	6. Dude Apocryphos: Eloquent

A/N: I didn't really know what Apocryphos' powers are, and I'm still not really sure… Eh, whatever. Slightly crack-ish this time, but I'm not sorry.

"_Nii-san. Do. Your. Work." _

Tobirama growled, casting a withering glare on the prone form of Hashirama Senju collapsed amongst piles of paperwork.

"_Oi!_ Stop fake-snoring; you're drooling on the construction permission files. They need it to start building the monuments…Are you awake, nii-san?"

_Snore. _A comical snot-bubble expanded and shrunk with every breath.

_Dammit, nii-san. _A vein popped out amidst Tobirama's silvery hair, and he hastily summoned the only jutsu that was guaranteed to wake his older sibling.

_Kuro, Shiro, Akuma, Tenshi, Gure._

"Watashi wa gure o shokan!"

Unfortunately instead of the summon he'd wanted to appear - Tobirama had been aiming towards that thin, respectful white-haired teen with a jagged scar who had came last time - out of nowhere popped a very weak-looking priest.

Yes, a priest. And a rather stereotypical kind of priest, too, with the cross necklace and pendants dangling around his neck, black-and-white clothes, glasses, and whatnot.

The summon slowly turned to directly face Tobirama, his spectacles glinting quite eerily.

Tobirama cleared his throat hastily. He was the brother of the (infamously bipolar) first Hokage, so he should act like it.

"Summon, may I know of your name?"

"The great being God served to create me, blessed-oh-blessed, a sentient Innocence with holy rights. But those devoted to our great God, and others cursed, know me as one-thousand years old Apocryphos, bringer of the day of saving, when I shalt rid the world of the dreaded, foul Noah Clan.."

"Ah…"

"..."

"May I have a condensed version?"

The summon adjusted its spectacles. "I am Apocryphos, a sentient Innocence."

"Wonderful. Can you wake up my nii-san?"

Another freakishly creepy smile. "Yes. My method of so-called "wake up" varies, however. Tell me, does your brother have Innocence, and may I claim it?"

Tobirama deepened his usual scowl at the insinuations. _I did not summon a pedo-priest, did I? How unsettling. _"As far as I am aware, my brother does not have this 'Innocence' you speak of. I think he lost it when he got drunk some years ago."

"A shame… All the same, I shall cater to your desire."

Then Apocryphos bent slightly and slapped Hashirama on the face, rather forcefully.

Hashirama's long hair swept up as he fell to the floor, landing on a bottle of ink and spilling it everywhere.

"Your desire will be fulfilled soon - your brother shall wake up. I will be taking my leave," Apocryphos stated blandly, before leaving.

Tobirama just gazed confusedly, his narrow eyes squinting disbelievingly as strange feathery branches sprouted from his older brother's cheek, glowing a silvery white.

It looked like Hashirama grew a long, messed-up white beard, then only shaved approximately half of it off.

Tobirama's lips curved ever so slightly upwards in satisfaction before he forced it back into a frown.

Instead of helping get rid of that weird stuff, he lazily scratched the red markings on his face, stepped back, and watched in (concealed) glee as Hashirama twitched…

… then woke up.

* * *

In Konohagakure, a relatively quiet place when it wasn't a time of war, a not-very-manly-sounding shriek rang out, suspiciously coming from the tower where the Hokage and his younger brother were residing.

It sounded rather like:

"G-G-G-GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! OTOUTO WHAT IS THIS STUFF I CAN'T GET IT OFF DID YOU SUMMON SOMEONE DANGEROUS AGAIN GAAAH!"

Of course, Konohagakure citizens ignored it. Ninja should be able to defend themselves when in peaceful times.

* * *

"No, nii-san, I will not help you get it off," Tobirama smirked ominously. "Perhaps you've learned your lesson to never hamper the process of finishing paperwork in any way, ever again?"

"O-o-o-otouto, since when were you so sadistic!? At least get me a r-r-razor so I can scrape it off! A-a-and where did all this ink come from…"


End file.
